Saturday, August 4, 2012

Relapses...

Well. That didn't work.

How many times as a parent (or as a person? co-worker? partner? teacher?) do we have to admit to ourselves that our attempts have just... well, they've outright failed?

So it was with our "big girl bed".  Two nights, and the crib is back together.

inside an urban child's bedroom

Lily was so excited to see her new room, her new "big girl bed", but she's just not ready. She needs the crib confinement for a while longer.  We learned this the hard way, over two sleepless nights.  A lot about adoption and parenting is learned the hard way, I find. Or maybe it's just my preferred learning style.  I don't know, but it was very bittersweet having to put the crib "prison" back together. Good thing I'm handy with my IKEA allen wrench.

We'll see what her reaction is when she comes home today and sees her "baby bed".  Are toddlers old enough to have regret? Will she think, oh wow, I really should have tried harder to stay/sleep in my new bed? Probably not.

So much about parenting these kids is just a big mystery. How was Daniel as a baby? How did he sleep? What was his relationship like with his first parents? What was that last day like? How much of Lily's behavior is her expressing grief and confusion about her past and how much is just her (crazy toddler) personality?  I often wonder, "What would (birthparents names) do?"  Since their daily lives are so, so different from ours, it's often hard to even translate the question. There are no IKEAs in Ethiopia.  Their family slept all together on a mattress. Allen wrenches, bedtime routines, white noise machines, nightlights, toys, good night books, stuffed animals, alarm clocks, cribs, toddler beds, bunk beds.... None of these exist in rural Africa.

What would they do? Shake their heads at me and my crazy questions, probably.

inside a rural Ethiopian home








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